Does getting rid of sentimental clutter cause you to feel guilt, sadness, fear or regret? It doesn’t have to. Understanding why some items stir up emotions and how to declutter them differently are keys to getting rid of emotionally-loaded clutter. Keep what you want and honor the memory of the rest.
I’m a sentimental person but also love to declutter, so these two sides of my personality come head-to-head often. The fact is that sentimental people will have more sentimental clutter. Not because of the types of items we have, but because we tend to attach more emotions and meaning to them.
What are sentimental items?
A sentimental item is one that holds a strong emotional attachment for you because of the memories, meaning, or feelings associated with it. So it’s not the type of item, necessarily, that is sentimental, but what it represents.
Family heirlooms are a good example of what can often be sentimental items. Other common examples could be souvenirs from past travels, childhood keepsakes, trophies and medals from past competitions, gifts received, favorite pieces of clothing from years ago, letters and greeting cards, collections, etc.
The memories and emotions can be positive, negative, or even both.
It’s important to note that anything can become a sentimental item.
We typically think of sentimental items as things like photos and collectibles and family treasures.
But we can become attached to all different types of objects.
For example, even an old piece of computer equipment can hold an emotional attachment to someone who sees it as nostalgic of how things were ‘back in the day’.
If you’re a sentimental person at heart, you’ll have to keep a close eye on how attached you are to your “stuff” and why.
Why is it so hard to let go of them?
Sentimental items are physical reminders of times, experiences, or people that are gone. Having an object associated with the past can make our memories seem more real and make us feel more able to hold on to those things.
There’s no need to feel like we have to get rid of all sentimental items. They play an important part in our life. The goal is to get rid of sentimental clutter.
We often hold on to items with good associations to keep the memories alive and relive the positive feelings.
We often hold on to items with unpleasant associations, too. We may have ‘unfinished business’ and not yet have worked through difficult situations emotionally or mentally.
Which decluttering approach is best?
The best decluttering approach for sentimental items is the one that works for you. This may change depending on your circumstances, so be flexible.
I believe it’s important to find a balance between giving yourself grace and making progress.
A gentle approach may be best when you’re going through an emotional situation or just feeling a lot of resistance to letting things go. For example, if you need to declutter after a parent passes away, you may need some time for grieving first, or to tackle the job little by little. In this case you’ll start with less-emotional objects first, then gradually work your way up to more-emotional items. Go at a pace that doesn’t overwhelm you but that shows regular progress. When you’re done, go through it again. You may notice that what was once really important to keep will be easier to let go of later.
A ‘rip off the Band-Aid’ approach may be called for when you’re feeling ready to let go but are still having trouble doing so. Or maybe you’re in a situation that requires fast action and you have no choice but to get it done quickly. For faster and more final decisions, pick up an item and don’t set it down without deciding where it will go (toss, donate/give, sell, keep). Commit to a certain number of items, or to clear a specific area, each time you declutter.
Questions to ask yourself
Clearing entimental clutter requires some introspection on our part. It’s not just about the space it takes up in our home, but in our mind and emotions as well. Think through these questions, and don’t stop when you’ve answered one or two. Continue through the entire list to help yourself make decisions that you won’t regret.
- Do I have room for it? This doesn’t necessarily mean you should keep it, but not having room for it means something has to give.
- Does this also have meaning for other people? If an item has meaning for others as well, take that into consideration. It can actually provide you with a win/win scenario that clears up your space while giving a cherished item a new home where it will be appreciated.
- Should it be preserved for future family? Depending on your family culture, sentimental items are often prized and passed down to future generations. It may be that you genuinely want to keep objects related to family history. Can you begin to pass some of these down now instead of holding on to them indefinitely?
- Am I keeping it in a way that is preserving it well? If not, you may not care about is as much as you think. And if you can’t afford to do so, you may want to rethink keeping it.
- Can I preserve or use it another way? Photographs, scans and video recordings are all space-saving ways to capture the essence of an items without keeping it physically. For items that you do want to keep, it there a way to make it useful in your living space?
- Is there someone else who would appreciate it? Even beyond family members, is there a friend, acquaintance, or even collector that would be thrilled to receive it?
- What do I feel when I think about getting rid of it? This can tell you a lot about why you’re keeping something. Do you feel sad, frightened, guilty?
- What is it costing me to hold on to it? Everything we keep has some cost associated. Whether it’s the space it takes up in our home, or the price for a storage facility, or the effect clutter has on our everyday life.
- Why am I keeping it? Do I just really love and appreciate it? Do I want it or am I keeping it because of how I think someone else will feel or react? Does it represent difficult experiences that I still need to work through?
10 ways to deal with sentimental clutter
There are lots of creative ways to preserve the important aspects of sentimental items. These can allow you to hold on to the memories without the actual items that they’re attached to. It often allows many other people to enjoys these things as well.
- Sentimental upcycling allows you to repurpose and give items a new life.
- Find a way to use it in your living space.
- Pass items on to other family or friends that have an attachment to them.
- Keep one or a handful of items from a collection of many.
- Take several good photographs and write a description or memory.
- Take a video with yourself or someone else talking about and showing the item.
- Create a scrapbook.
- Donate to a charitable organization or to an individual.
- Donate in the memory of a loved one, such as books to a library.
- Create a keepsake box to store your most valued items.
Tips for success
Success in this case is your ability to make tough decisions that end in as little regret as possible. Decluttering emotionally-laden objects is a journey that often takes us to unexpected places. But the results as so worth it, and are a blessing to ourselves as well as others.
- Have a method to evaluate your sentimental items. Using some kind of standard approach will simplify the process and help you make better decisions more quickly. This can be as simple as a list of questions that you ask about each item (see suggestions above).
- Ask for help from someone who is more objective about the items. Whether a friend or another family member, choose someone who will provide a bit of balance when making these decisions.
- Expect the emotions and have a strategy to deal with them. They’re going to happen, so think ahead how you will handle them. One idea is to not make decisions when you’re feeling very emotional one way or the other. Take a break, let the emotion pass, and then come back to it.
- Intentionally remember your goals for decluttering. Weigh the value of the item to you against the value of your decluttering goals. The two may be compatible, or not.
- Journal those strong emotions. When you hit a wall and just can’t make a decision, journal what you’re thinking and feeling. This can give you some real insight that will help you move forward.
- Start small. Go at your pace. Challenge yourself. This is about finding balance. Don’t jump in to working on the most difficult items first. Give yourself grace and time when needed. But at the same time, require some hard decisions and progress from yourself as well.
Wrap up
Sentimental items are not all clutter, but they can be a big source of it. When we’re aware that our emotions are playing a factor in our decluttering, we need to keep that in mind. Between making good decisions and getting creative we can create a balance that works for us.